How-to video interrupted by Spacerex.com transmission from future?

As a handyman/artist and sometimes-filmmaker I have a relationship with Tech. It’s not always a reciprocal relationship and I have considered leaving him many times because I never really loved him and he requires a lot of my attention. I love women and cats and dogs and children. I love some television shows and movies. I love nature. I love my friends. But while I love what Tech does for me, Tech himself is not my cup of tea.

One of my least favorite things about Tech is when strings get tightly wound around his driveshaft. He doesn’t like this either. Vacuum cleaners, weed whackers, lawn mowers, to name a few devices, have drive shafts that can get bogged down and stopped by long hair, dry ropy weeds, wire, etc. Try getting a long piece of dry swallowwort vine off of a driveshaft when it’s become tightly wound and layered over itself like fucking Kevlar®. Everyone except maybe Donald Trump has experienced this. It’s a pain in the butt.

A while ago my dog, Ace, ate some mint flavored dental floss. I just found the chewed up dispenser. I called the vet and was alarmed to hear that, like my weed-whacker, dogs are very vulnerable to long string. Particularly strong hard-to-break-down string. It can get wrapped around their bowels and obstruct, like Donald Trump. We were told to keep a close eye on Ace to make sure he was passing his food and not becoming impacted with his own shit, like Donald Trump.

Fortunately Ace survived. But it got me thinking: if mint-flavored dental floss was something he liked to eat, what about mint-flavored dental floss with stinky food particles on it? Throw in some snotty tissues and other bathroom trash delectables and you have a regular smorgasbord of bad shit for your dog. What to do?

My dentist told me that the best flossing technique was to take a long piece of floss, like your wingspan, and wrap it around your finger so that you are always having a clean piece of floss as you work your way around. This leads to using a LOT of floss. I got a refillable floss container and, for the sake of my dog, a trashcan with a lid. But I asked myself, “If Ace doesn’t get it, will it end up strangling some sea turtle’s gut three year from now?”

The answer is “Yes, indubitably. Or it’ll end up being a problem for some piece of machinery at the dump.” So I thought I’d make a video that demonstrated a simple way to address this lurking threat to the creatures we love and the machines and other things, like Donald Trump, who we have to deal with whether we love them or not. Everyone agrees, the world is just a safer place without dangerous trash.

It’s really simple: When you are done with your floss, hold your finger apart slightly, wrap all the used floss around them. Then relax your fingers and remove the little donut of floss you have created. Grab a nice sharp pair of scissors and cut that donut into little pieces over the trash can. The short bits of floss will pass through creatures and driveshafts without trouble.

Dedicate good scissors to this purpose. It will not work with crappy ones. I use hair scissors, which are in the bathroom anyway.

That was going to be the how-to video. But in the midst of the first and only take, I was struck by a bolt of cold plasma and transported into an horizonless void. Here I eventually met my daughter who, after a full life as a biped in the future, now lives as a construct within a huge biological computer, a wet chip, along with what will someday be my grandson and his clone. The wet chip housing my daughter appears to be in an art loft orbiting a dead Earth. I spent a very strange period of days in this virtual space inside a loft in space.

During my absence my grandson took over my body and used it to carry out a mission which may have involved stealing some nuclear tech from a nearby Department of Energy (DOE) facility which, due to the ascendency of Deep State conspiracy theories, was miserably short staffed. (Every State is a Deep State when you’re a shallow kleptocrat like Donald Trump.) Apparently, in the future, there will be a saying: “When history gives you small government, steal nuclear devices.” Of course Rex’s mission, which involves building a better time machine and starting a rock and roll band, are very patriotic.

My grandson, Rex, was fully engaged in puppeting my body here in contemporary meatspace and we didn’t get to visit. But his clone, Spacerex, and my daughter, now a M.O.H.M.(Mutated Organic Human Memory), told me a lot about the dire future history of our planet. Of course to them it’s PAST history. And alternate histories that may or may not have been reconciled here on the website proliferate, but I plan to write a book that will explain it all in some future history.

Rex also performed a song that disparages the current political climate and the futility of social media, while he was me. I fully endorse this message.

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