reestablishing public access to the future since 1992 (Earth standard time)
Apocalyptic Foods
If you’re reading this you may be one of the elite lucky few to come into possession of one of our delicious signature food products, Pop-alyptic Corn® and CheezGASM® all purpose cheese powder. You may even have gotten a FREE STICKER! Well, here’s a video recorded in YOUR timeline and beamed back from us Post-Apocalytes through our satellite link to our future, telling you more than you ever wanted to know about the correct way to put on a sticker:
Because we are buying ingredients from your timeline you need not worry about the toxins, germs and zombie-vector invasive protoplasms we had to deal with. Don’t let the label scare you. The cheese powder and black salt came from Amazon (the website, not the jungle), the nutritional yeast and the popcorn are from an Amish farm stand in Central New York. The black salt provides sulfur and other trace minerals highly recommended by Ayurvedic Yogis! You need to put butter or olive oil and/or sesame oil (add your own fat) on the popcorn so the powder has something to stick to.
The magic ingredients you can buy in Local Earth Time.
We packaged it in reusable jars and cardboard tubes and used a repurposed twisty tie to close the bag. The QR code on the label will always bring you back to this page. If you need more cheeseGASM or you just want to know about our important work contact us. But, because we are constantly on the run from robots of the future white collar crime syndicate, Fat Baby Food ltd., and have more important things to do, we prefer to teach you to CheezGASM:
1 part black salt
6 parts powdered cheese
12 parts nutritional yeast flakes
NOTE: you should sift the salt and cheese through a sieve to prevent clumping.
SHAKE the jar before using.
CheeseGASM all-purpose cheese powder labela robot pov of the device that is playing back from this unidentified space wreckage
This is our work:
If you have been following the ghastly developments in OUR TIMELINE, you know that Fat Baby Food developed all kinds of nasty products there. In YOUR TIMELINE we have swiped their ®egistered Trademark and put out this line of spoof products. Now they can’t name their company Fat Baby Foods here in your world. Of course they are still out there and will probably just come for your guns and your freedom under another name.
But that’s why we’re here, the little butterfly beating it’s wings to make one small change in the deep state of the deterministicnonlinear system and make large differences in a later state to bring down the bad guys. That’s how we operate.
Pop Corn Label lays out the power structure of the future. Kuanguo Yumi Lu translates to “Multinational Corn Syrup Company.” The United States Quango is a consortium of kleptocrats who ran the country after the collapse and prior to the apocalypse.
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Published by M.O.H.M.
Prior to retirement Kali (user M.O.H.M.) was on the vanguard of the cognitive science division of Fat Baby Foods ltd. (FBF). She helped design the process by which actual living memory could migrate to protoplasm and back again. Her early career was with the A.R.K. mission to record the memories and survival instincts of endangered species for reintegration on distant planets. It was here that she met her husband, Ullysses Flynder, who, as a cognitive scientist aboard the ill-fated Belleforest terraforming mission, was one of the first victims of the PBR12 virus.
Always a crusader for peace and justice, Kali was best remembered as the whistle blower on Fat Baby Food's development of weaponized corn during Space War One. Her case was one of the first tried in the supreme court of the Quango. Faced with a choice of death or retirement, Kali chose the latter and became one of the first humans to undergo the transformation that she herself helped to devise. As a Mutated Organic Human Memory (M.O.H.M. or "wet chip"), a genetically engineered distillation of a sentient organism into a mollusk-like lump of protoplasm housed in a small container, Kali was sequestered in the first of many beehive-like catacombs, nourished by drip lines, purged through waste tubes, and accessed via skullcap, by old-fashioned bipedal humanity. She existed as an avatar in a virtual prison, complete with all the mechanisms of local prison politics, in the newly discovered country of the protoplasm.
Kali was paroled, after yet-another regime change, to an online facility five years later. Then the Lansdowne incident led to a backlash against retirees (wet chips) and all the retirement facilities in the world were essentially turned into off-line prisons. Having lived longer in the protoplasmic state than any other human, and being a cognitive expert, Kali thrived in prison. She organized her own escape eventually and was delivered to her son's custody in the loft building seen here. It was shortly after Kali was finally re-introduced to the internet and put in charge of the building's Safe Dome 6® security protocols, that the building blasted off just before the Apocalypse.
Kali now spends her time supporting her son and his clone, who are the last survivors of the human race, in their efforts to infiltrate the past through Will Dailyrest and his cadre, and to change the disastrous course of human history. She is also the webmaster of Spacerex.com. View all posts by M.O.H.M.
